The politically incorrect guide of getting through TSA security
November 25, 2010
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This post is intended to be tongue in cheek. Last year I was in the USA for a short time and I am not sure if I will be returning for a short time next year. Keeping in mind the obnoxious manner in which the TSA is handling travellers, I have decided to slap together a politically incorrect guide in handling these incompetent boobs who decide to frisk and grope people who would never even dream of being terrorists. So here are my suggestions:
1. Consider wearing your speedos to go through airport security. Those budgie smugglers will give the TSA something to ogle.
2. Make sure you do not shower on the day that you are due to board a flight to go anywhere within the USA. In that way your BO will get up their noses.
3. Foods to consider eating several hours before your flight: peanuts, baked beans, raw cabbage, cauliflower and broccoli. All of these are guaranteed to ensure that you will be able to pass some wind just as the TSA person bends down to grope at your crotch.
4. A can of Pepsi, Coke or similar beverage about an hour before heading to the airport will enhance the possibility of that build-up of internal wind.
You are invited to come up with your own ideas on how to make the members of the TSA feel as uncomfortable as possible.